The Single Life and YOU

First of all, I would like to state that I'm NOT a relationship expert. Though I think I should pursue a degree or doctorate in relationship, marriage counselling or something like that ;-) . Then I will be called "Dr Nono" (it is my nickname, a shortcut for Inonge.., like Anna is called Nana). I love writing about relationships and marriage. I remember writing an article about marriage five years ago when I was 23years old. The title was "To Love, Honour...Until Death Do Us Part". This article was published in our local Magazine "Beauty Zambia Magazine". I wasn't even in a relationship at a time I wrote it :-) .

I like to say, I Love LOVE! (hope that makes sense to you). In my teens, I loved to watch Cinderella, sleeping beauty etc and I had a bunch of self written love poems.

Anyway, today I wanna talk to my single ladies and gentlemen. First of all I would like to say that being single is not God's desire for you. I have scriptures to back this one up, (I am not being religious but its the fact) that's why He created Adam and Eve in the first place. If you have passed the marriage age (18yrs or 21yrs depending on which country you live in the world). And you are still not HITCHED, you don't have to worry about anything and you shouldn't get desperate. And the "age stated" shouldn't scare you, you can get married at any age, so long you are mature enough. What I mean is that, you can get married once you are emotionally and physically ready and that you are over 18years! not like that 62years old woman who married a 9years old boy in South Africa last year...(sickening event).

Love is something beautiful! Love is the greatest commandment given by God himself. And love the love that comes from a partner is sweeter than honey. That's why we go out of our way to look for it (Internet, clubs, churches etc). Nobody wants to be alone by choice! If you do, then you honestly need help!

We have lots of single people out there, others have just come out of a broken marriage and are single again, others are coming out of relationships, others cant just find a "perfect partner", lots of people are single for various reasons.

If you are one of these "singles" and still believe in love, you will find it or love will find you. I would like to say that being single doesn't mean you are not beautiful or that you are not good enough. For me being single is an opportunity to self-discovery. Being single means you have the time to focus on yourself, discover who you are and your purpose in life. This goes out to both the men and women.

As women, I think there is too much pressure put on us by friends, family and society at large if you have passed a certain age and you are single, hence we find ourselves in wrong relationships etc. I have heard some men complaining of the same pressure too. For once, if you are single and maybe coming out of a relationship, don't jump into another one so fast. Take your time and build yourself.

WHAT TO DO AS A SINGLE PERSON WHILE YOU WAIT FOR LOVE TO COME

While waiting for love to come by, enjoy being single. Do the things you enjoy doing alone. If you have a talent that you would want to build on, start doing just that. Maybe you have always wanted to travel and discover new places, now is the time. Or maybe you wanna write a book, now is the time! You want to develop a deeper relationship with God, now is the time! Is it a higher education you wanna pursue, now is the time! Do you want to hangout with your mates without "restrictions" ;-) , now is the time! You wanna go to India and enjoy the spicy foods and their rich culture, now is the time! The list is endless!

While you wait, you can also start asking yourself why the previous relationship didn't workout. And you should be very honest with your answer, if you were the problem in that relationship..,you better start working on yourself and and ask God to change you. Because if you "carry the same bricks from your past relationship into your new relationship, you will end up building the same house" and you know the outcome of it. Start working on what you will bring to the table in your future relationship. Work on yourself, for yourself and your future mate.

Till you meet her/him, enjoy your single life and let nobody pressure you into being hitched! When she/he comes, you will know it and you will be ready and prepared ;-) .