That Awkward Moment..

So, I am dating again after a while. It is exciting and yet scary. I thought I should get back into the game and see what happens.

Anyway, I went on a date last Sunday but it was rather a very interesting date. We had agreed that we meet after Church and do something.  My "date" picked up a place for our meet-up and it was a wildlife reserve. I checked it out and it looked very nice with a variety of animals. Anyway, he got there before I did and when I was finally there, we cued up to buy the tickets. When we reached the ticket desk to buy the ticket, the guy told me he already bought his and when the nice lady by the desk handed me the ticket, I looked at the guy and he still had his hands in his jacket pocket; "are you excepting me to pay?" I asked, and he said yes. Hahahahaha! I reached in my purse to get my credit card and a thought came to mind, if he picked a place and it is our first date, then he has to pay. So, I said I had no money and he finally paid. The first 30 min were so awkward that I had to make fun of the situation by saying; "If you are gonna tell your friends about today, make sure you mention that I am from Africa." We both laughed and the rest of the was good but still intense.

LESSON
In life, you will always come across some crazy situations or caught up in awkward moments. You can either pray for the ground to swallow you up or you can make fun out of it and move on. With time, its gonna be a wonderful experience to tell your kids. Life is simple, dont complicate it.

Love
Inonge

How My 30 Days Social Media Detox Changed Me

YES! I did it! Lol! Alright, on the 23 of June, I decided to go on a 30 days Social Media Detox.

First of all, I believe there are three types of social media users; the compulsive posters, the curious checkers and the stalkers. Over the last few months, I found myself heading towards the "curious checkers" ladder, I spent about 5hours straight on facebook. And that's when I decided to break off for a bit and see if I would survive..,and I did survive lol!

I have been a blogger for over a year and half and that has been my excuse for spending too much time on social media networks. I generate some income from my blogs and for me to see a penny, I need traffic and to drive traffic to my blogs, I need the social media networks. Therefore, I am on about twelve social media networks and very active on six of them. I am on google+, instagram, pinterest, Youtube, facebook, bloglovin, twitter, Linkedin, blogup, stumbleupon just to mention a few.

I was off on all my social media networks but I had left whatsapp (its cheaper than calling than sending an sms to someone) and offcourse my emails were still on. I had also left my Facebook Page Manager App for updates on my facebook pages once in a while. The first few days were hard, I found myself grabbing my phone from time to time wanting to check what was going on with people or if I have any new likes for my posts etc.

After a 3 days, I was getting frustrated and I decided to snap out of it completely by unistalling the social media apps on my phone and start focusing on my writing. (I am writing my first book), I wrote about 5,000 words in just two days! That was great, and it felt really good. I got Richard Branson's "SCREW IT, LETS DO IT" book and I read it and finished it in 3 days, it was a great book to read in the first few days of a 30days challenge ;-) . I also read the first Ten books of the bible Genesis to 2 Samuel, that was amazing and I learnt lots of things from the bible and I got some understanding of God, humanity and the children of Israel.

After a week, I got used to the idea of being invisible to the cyber world and life continued. I became occupied with important things in my life e.g my relationship with God, writing my book and it was also the time that my permit came out. I became extremely busy with my preparations for relocating to Denmark (where I am now living....moved here almost two weeks ago). In the 3rd week of my 30 days, I travelled to Chozi in the North of Zambia to visit my family.

The 30 days went by pretty fast. And looking back in those 30 days, I had done so much and I accomplished a little more than I would if I had my phone in my hands 80% of the day. In those 30 days, I became focused on what was really important in my life. And trust me, I realised that I didn't miss much in the time I was away and I am planning to do it again ;-) .

...The social media networks were created to make our lives easier and communication with friends and family much easy and fun. They are also good for business. But I feel like sometimes, we forget whats real and whats not. I would give an example of the famous facebook, all the time you log in....you see posts of happy people having a fabulous time.., I know one friend on facebook who updates her status maybe ten times a day...! from what she eats for breakfast, what her daughter did after breakfast, were she will go later etc.. its like she is living her life online. and there are thousands of people who are living like that. I also know someone who showcase her life on facebook as a fabulous diva or what Kimora Lee Simmons would call "Life In The Fab Lane" but yet she is so miserable in real life. I know it feels really good to get some LIKES for something that you have just posted, it gives you some kind of thrill....its true, come on, lets not pretend that we don't like it when people LIKE, COMMENT or SHARE our posts. This is were the compulsive posters come in..,for the thrill of it. And before you know it, you become addicted. Don't get confused with reality and what you see on these social media networks, especially you teens ;-) .

Honestly, I learnt so much about myself in those 30 days and I did lots of things. I will be taking it once again soon. You should try it, it will change you. ;-) . It will be hard at first but you will get through it.

Embracing Your Natural Look; Going Afro

Myself

Sometime last year, I shared a post with you about natural short hair. I had just cut my hair at a time. I went natural for a well but I went back to my extensions and weaves lol! I have always had weaves, extensions, braids and wigs on.. almost my entire adulthood. I wouldn't leave the house with my natural hair, it was like a taboo :-D . I would undo my hair today but I wont leave the house till I have a new hair-do. That went on for a very long time without realising I was damaging my follicles. I also used a lot of creams (hair relaxer creams), that made it worse.

Precious (my cousin)

I think natural Afro hair is Hot, Sexy and Classy. Lots of us "women of colour" like to hide our beauty in all these artificial hair extensions. Some of us don't even remember the last time we walked out of the door with just our natural hair. I have a cousin who is also a very good friend of mine, (Precious) she has had kinky Afro hair for as long as I have known her! She looks really beautiful. When we go out, people would be staring at her hair, others would want to touch it. Its beautiful and she is beautiful too.

Then we have celebrities like Lupita Nyongo, Lira; the South African singer, we have Solange.., to mention but a few who have embraced the natural short hair. I like Lupita's short hair. It looks easy to maintain. I am thinking of keeping mine to that length. Or maybe twist it a bit like Solange's ;-) (thinking...). Lets see how it goes, I might just keep it short and dye it red lol! The options are numinous.

last week I decided to cut my hair once again and let it breath for a while. (the picture above). Honestly speaking, I like this natural short hair look. I think am gonna keep it for a lifetime! I had posted this picture on my facebook timeline, I should say that the response from my friends is quite encouraging. As I am writing this post, I have 116 Likes on it and probably the most liked of my pictures since I joined facebook lol!

DURING MY TIME OF HAIR EXTENSIONS AND BRAIDS

Pictures You Want To See (The Kasumbalesa Business)

Remember the story I published a few weeks ago (Trading At Kasumbalesa, My Experience)? well, I found more pictures on my laptop today of that trip and my experience. I just thought I should share with you. Enjoy ;-) 

About to start off from Kasumbalesa to Lusaka. We had to get on a truck, on the back with all the coldness of Zambian winter.

This is at the Village were we went to look for goats in Southern Zambia

Waiting for transport to take us to a nearby town where we could get on a truck. This cow was our transport.

This is a funny one lol! My friend Nanzila was having issues the her goat, it didn't want to move, she decided to carry it by force!

I don't know if i mentioned in my article, but we also bought these pigs. Oh yes, we carried them on our own.., no men involved lol!

This is the village in Mazabuka where we were received. I was trying to find some network connection around 5am.

Pulling my very stubborn goat with all my strength

Getting ready to get on this truck to take us to the village in Mazabuka.

My friend Nanzila

Found some guys making fire at some car wash, we decided to join and make ourselves warm.

This is some restaurant in Choma were we had some breakfast. We were broke, we couldn't go to a fancy  one lol!

THE DRY FISH BUSINESS; This a truck that carries all your goodies, all these bundles are bundles of dry fish. The truck comes with the fishermen from Southern Zambia and comes with them to Lusaka (Ku-mobil, behind Chibolya). Then we buy the fish and use the same truck to transport it to Kasumbalesa.

And we get on this bus and the truck with the fish follows behind.

WHAT AN EXPERIENCE! 

Inside My Closet...(Vintage Sunday)

Okayyyy! So, last Sunday (yesterday), I decided to pull a Vintage dress and try to pull that 80's look when going to church. It wasn't bad I guess, though the whole outfit doesn't look "Vintage" but I loved it. The dress is very comfortable and it is a perfect fit. I just love it!

DRESS =us$0.50 & SHOES (Ebay UK) £5

BELT= us$0.50 & HEADWRAP= us$0.2

Here we go lol! The dress I am wearing was bought from a flea market here in Lusaka, Zambia we call it "salaula", you know, a second hand clothing market ;-) . In Europe (at least where I have been) you don't sell then on the streets but you can find them in "Charity shops" or "the Red Cross shops", I remember a few years ago when I was in Leicester, UK, I used to go to "carboot sales" to find some nice second hand goodies or clothes ;-) . And in Denmark, I still visit the "charity shops" from time to time ;-) . Oh YES! I do, you find very nice cloths and with nice labels there ;-) and at a very very nice price. In Zambia I would say "mutengo waku church" :-D meaning at a"church price".., it means they are really cheap.

Trading At Kasumba-Lesa..; My Experience

Hi everyone. Its been a few weeks since my last post and I would like to apologize to my readers for that. Well, I am back now and today am gonna share with you a very interesting topic.

Well, for the past one year and some months, I have been living in two countries. I have been living both in Zambia (my home) and in Denmark. I would like to say that I am a "Nomad". and I somehow like it ;-) . 

THE GOAT BUSINESS

Sometime last year, I think that was in June/July, I visited home and I had a few cash on me. I wanted to double my cash, so I decided to find a quick business to do since I was going to be home for three months. I did my research but apparently I didn't do it thoroughly. One day, a friend of mine came by and suggested that we put our monies together and go into the villages to buy live goats so that we can take them to Kasumbalesa (It's a town that boarders Zambia and the Democratic Republic of Congo). I was told that, when we go in the nearby villages especially in the southern part of Zambia, we will be able to buy one goats for about K100.00 (about US$13) each and we will be able to sell them in Kasumbalesa for upto k600.00 (US$90). Oh yes!!! you heard me right hehehehe! I wanted to buy 20 goats and I didn't even hesitate. The following day, my friend and I went to look for goats in the villages. We went to Choma (Southern Zambia). I remember we got there a bit late in the evenings and we had to sleep on the veranda at one of the shops.. We didn't want to book ourselves into a lodge because we didn't want to spend anymore of our capital money. We already saw ourselves as millioniers and we were ready to sacrifice.

We never even slept that night, the floor was so hard plus it was very cold (that was during the Zambian winter). We ended up joining some call-boys who had made a very big fire and that fire went on through out the night. They were very nice boys and harmless. They welcomed us and we started roasting and eatin some sweet potatoes. It was a great evening and the boys kept telling us about their lives and listened to some juicy stories about there gilfriends and wives. The following day, we took off around 5am into the villages, and guess what? There were no goats anywhere near..., we walked for maybe about 10km or more deep inside the villages and we came across this small village where we were told to wait till the following morning because it was late and we were tired and hungry. There was this man, who was a friend of the village headman who welcomed us with his wife and family. They were really nice people, (i need to go and visit them some day). We were given some food, and a warm place to spend a night. In the morning, we were taken to the headman for an introduction (you dont do busines in the village without an introduction to the chief or the headman). After the introduction, we were directed where to go and look for goats.

Anyway, we never found any goats in that village, so was in the next and the next and the next village. We spent one week trying to find these goats so that we can be millioniers! There were no goats!!! We managed to find one though and it was going for about us$20 and we also ended up buying live pigs that weigh about 200kgs each. Bought five pigs for about US$50 each. We never went to kasumbalesa because we ran out of cash and the we ended up selling them in Lusaka at a place called "pa Kabesha" in Chibolya compound (you can sell anything at this place). We sold them at the same price we bought them at.

The following week, we tried in some villages in Kaoma, Mazabuka and Siavonga. Believe me, there were no goats! When we were in Siavonga, we even tried to buy bags of dry kapenta (very small dried fish).

THE DRY FISH BUSINESS

That's me, selling dry fish at Kasumbalesa

Then two weeks later, another friend encouraged me to try dry fish. I was told to buy some dried fish from Lusaka (the capital City of Zambia) and take them to Kasumbalesa. (appearently, Kasumbalesa is extremyly good for business. Because of the conflict that has been going on in Congo for many years, there is a shortage of so many commodities). People from Congo can only buy commodities from the nearby countries. And Kasumbalesa is one of the boarders that offer different types of business opportunities both for the Zambian people and the Congolese people.

THE BEST OF AFRICAN FASHION 2014!

The year is coming to an end and well everybody is trying to reflect on what went on during the course of 2014. We take out our diaries and check if we have actually achieved all the things we said we are going to achieve at the beginning of the year. That's how I do it in my personal life. But here on African Super Woman, am going to do something different, I am going to look at the best of African fashion or African trends for 2014, the list is self compiled, so don't judge ;-) . Down below, i have a few trends that i kind of did it for me! I will start with myself. (and like i said, DON'T judge).

I designed this skirt myself (and that's me posing as a model). Its really simple, just a skirt, its a bit like a marmaid bit its longer at the back then a bit shorter at the front, it doesn't look like that in the pictures though. and I just made a small headband to kind of make a ribbon.

More of me in my African Print

LIFE IN THE GHETTO (CHIBOLYA). This is my story.

While, to most of you who will read this and actually know me, this story might surprise and even shock you but this is my story and part of the history that has made me who I am today.

In Lusaka city centre, there is a shanty compound known as Chibolya. You can call it the Ghetto or the Slams if you wish. This place is no ordinary shanty compound, this place is a place where all the bad things happens. it is a very small compound but extremely dangerous, actually it is so dangerous in that the police get intimidated. In this compound, there is a street called GAZA street and on this street, you will find all sorts of drugs, alcohol, guns, stolen items etc. The drug dealers sell drugs there as if they are selling tomatoes, there is no fear of the police or the law, the guys there live like they are above the law. This is the street where you will find all sorts of people, when you are passing through in the late afternoons, you will spot expensive cars, you will spot some white folks, Indians, rich people etc. Yes, you will find all sorts of people there and they are all there to buy cannabis, marijuana etc. How do I know all this? The answer is simple, its because I once lived in this compound for two years!

MY LIFE IN CHIBOLYA

One of the streets in Chibolya

When I completed my high school (2003) at Kasama Girls, I came back to Lusaka to live with my grandmother and my two aunties who had put their house on rent in Kabwata (one of the nice neighbourhoods in Lusaka). And they decided to live in Chibolya, (my great grandmother had a block of rooms there) who was kind enough to give out a room to my grandmother and my aunties, just to stay there for a couple of months while they figure out what to do next..., for my grandfather had just passed away at that time and he was the only soul provider. My grandmother and my aunties thought at a time that moving to Chibolya and put the house in Kabwata on rent was the best idea, for they were going to save up some money from the house to start a business and only then, will they be able to move back to Kabwata. It was supposed to be only to live in Chibolya for a few months but they ended up living there for a few years.

The door where i am standing is where we lived

After high school like I have mentioned earlier, I moved back to Lusaka and i moved in with my grandmother and my aunties. At that time my grandmother was not so well, her health was really bad and the living conditions where so bad too, the finances were down the drain as well. The situation was so bad that we ended up brewing and selling the local beer called "kachasu" (believe it or not, i know how to make that beer ;-) ).

Where we used to brew the beer

A few months after i had moved in with them, my grandmother died and my school results were out. Thank God my results were good, I applied for a course at NIPA (National Institute of Public Administration), this is one of the best collages in Lusaka I must say. I was accepted and I studied Information Systems and Programming from there. Life was hard but i had an imagination of that of a child back then, I believed that anything was possible and I could see my future through the windows of my imaginations. I knew then that I was going to get out of that Ghetto and I was going to make it in life and make a name for myself. Two years later, I moved out of Chibolya and I started living with an uncle in a different neighbourhood called Kanyama, which is the next compound to Chibolya. (it is better than Chibolya though).

This was once my street in Chibolya

I continued my studies and my uncle helped me get a job and I started doing some business while going for work and at the same time, I started modeling and I could see my future becoming more bright and more exciting. While, I was busy with my life, I started saving up some money and when it was enough, I took myself to school to sturdy Social Work which i managed to get a diploma. For me, life was good but I knew I still had lots to do before I can have a life that i wanted. I got a few projects working with the Ministry of Community Development and Social Services, teaching literacy class in Chainda (one of Lusaka's townships) and I also had a few women groups in Chelstone and Kaunda Square stage one (townships of Lusaka) where I used to teach them some personal development skills, leadership skills etc. 

Afterwards, i had my own flat, I had an opportunity to go to the United Kingdom and experience life there. Then I later moved to Malawi and became one of the Directors and Shareholders of SHADES Ltd (this is another story ;-) ). I have never looked back since. By the way, while, I was living in Chibolya, I had a friend by the name of Zuberi. He was a very smart guy and we used to dream and encourage each other a lot, like the saying "iron sharpens iron", he is also doing great and running a very big company in South Africa.

Last week the cops seized Chibolya because of all the bad things that has been going on for years there. Even some murders have been committed in that compound. I decided to go and see what was going on and just to see how the place was for it was years since I lasted visited the place. I managed to take a few pictures (the ones I have just shared with you), I couldn't take more because I was warned by one of the kids on the street saying that if am caught, it will be a disaster for the gangs might think I was a reporter. I went there a day after the police had been. As I was there, I could see a few camping sites for the cops. I read in the paper that the police will camp there for two months. I think its a good idea and I hope things change for the better in that compound because a lot of lives have been destroyed.

THIS IS MY STORY. WHAT IS YOURS..?
(if you have a story that you would like to share with me, a story that you would like me to publish, feel free to contact me)

MY DREAM WEDDING..

Are you single and dream about your wedding day? Or are you married and have a fantasy of a perfect wedding? While, dreaming is the most exciting thing I believe ..because it is limitless. Today am gonna share with you every girl's dream...My Dream Wedding. I want to keep it simple, very intimate, very cosy and it should match my personality.

THE DRESS
While, I would like to go for something that is flattering a little bit...,something that will show off my best assets..both front and back...heheheh..if you know what i mean ;-) . So for my perfect dress I would go for Justin Alexander's Signature Silk duplon mermaid gown, its simple and very classy.

THE CAKE
While, it shouldn't be very dramatic with lots of decorations. I don't want it to be the centre of attraction....that is mine alone LOL! I will keep it simple with some very meaningful details like some white rose flower decorations on it.."white rose flower means purity and innocence" by the way.
  

Maybe one of the above cakes, they are very simple and not so much going on with them.

FLOWERS AND BOUQUET
I want flowers that mean love, purity, innocence, happiness, desire, long life, joy and all the beauty that marriage can bring in your life. Flowers that celebrate love and life. So I would go for flowers like Red and 
White Chrysanthemum, Red, White Rose flowers, Tulip, Peony, Orchid, Ivy, Lilies and flowers like that.

BRIDESMAIDS DRESSES
I have just observed that most brides like to make their bridesmaid wear ugly dresses in order not to make the bride look awful just in case her dress isn't pretty enough to make her the centre of attention. Mine will be different, I want the girls to look sexy and feel pretty..,its their big day too. I have some ideas of the dresses that am gonna share with you below, dresses that they are actually going to be wearing even after the party. These are definitely not my colours but i just want you to have an idea of the dresses.

                           

VENUE DECORATION I PREFER OUTSIDE VENUE (ideas below)      

 Simplicity is beautiful I believe.                                  

                     

I will share with you more about my DREAM WEDDING in my next post. Will share with you my wedding shoes, hair do and accessories, make up, also will share with you the attire for the groomsmen and all that.

This song is just perfect for your big day. (you listen to this song below, you feel like you wanna get married if you are not, and if you are..,it makes you feel like getting married all over again)

                                   

THE THREE MUSKETEERS!!!!

I consider the following ladies as African Super Women. Behind all this beauty, there are stories..., stories that make them who they are today. They are part of my life and we sharpen each other pretty well. We like to think that we are the "THREE MUSKETEERS".

WE ARE THE AFRICAN SUPER WOMEN!!!!!